Back to the Ville 3-31-06

Back to the Ville

Back to where, in many ways, my life as I know it now began. My parents are taking my little sister down to Cedarville for the weekend, and having nothing better to do, I am hopping a ride. Jonathan is staying home to get some much needed work done on the house and also bc we won't be back until Monday and he doesn't want to take a vacation day. But it is always kind of weird for me to go back there without him. I have already done it twice since we graduated. It is where we met, fell in love and had our first year of marriage. It is a place of such drama for me that going back there without him almost seems painful. Do you ever wish, that for just a day you could go back in time and experience life as it used to be?

Life now is so much more predictable and stable. Every day looks almost like the one before with slight variations. I love my life today. I love spending all day with Landon and all evening doing fun things as a family...the three of us. But sometimes I long for the unpredictability and the uncertainty that spawned such passion back in the days of college life. I would not trade my life now for that life, but I yearn with so much in me to live just a day or a week from college life. I miss being surrounded by so many different and wonderful friends. I miss walking everywhere and even, to some extent the busyness that was so characteristic of that time period. I miss girly talks and roommate chat sessions. I miss dating Jonathan...probably bc back in those days we could somehow (probably to out future detriment) afford to go on really cool dates to Mt. Adams and the Oregon District and various other places that hold such sentimentality for me. Now when we have a chance to go on a date, which is not often at all, we decide to be wise and make it cheap. Not that cheap is not good...it is and we still can have so much fun...but I miss the not knowing...not knowing all there is to know about how he was feeling and where we were going with our lives. I think that uncertainty painted a backdrop for lots of drama, and passion and excitement. I am not trying to say those things do not exist now. They do...but in a different way. The love we share now is in so many ways a deeper and more mature love. So much more stable and enduring. I think it is human nature to glorify the past and forget about the hurtful or difficult times. Who knows, one day, I am quite sure I will long to live this day once more...and have all of the treasures that I have today...our love, our 2 year-old, our life.