New Beginnings

I have been blogging for six years, well almost. I was a new-ish mom, who had just moved to a new town and felt very alone. I stumbled onto xanga, and after finding a few of my old friends from college, I thought I would give it a try. I still remember hitting the "submit" button the first time. I was so unsure. Just like I was about nearly everything in my life back then. Most of my friends weren't even married or were just getting married, and certainly weren't thinking about having babies. And yet I was the mother of a two year old. I didn't feel like I fit in with people my own age or with other mothers, bc they all seemed so much older than I was. I didn't know what I wanted with my life, or where God was possibly leading me. I had started grad school, but was in the middle of taking a break to be sure getting my masters in counseling was indeed, the path I was supposed to be on. Again, I was unsure.

Slowly but surely I found and met more and more friends through xanga. Most of them were friends of friends who graduated at some point from Cedarville. Others were from new mom blog rings. Some came and went. But many stayed. And in those women, I found community. I found support and encouragement. I found laughter and joy and purpose. Looking back, I am not sure what I would have done without those dear women. Most of them, I have now met one way or another, in person. Many are college friends that I have not seen in 8 years but whom I feel very close to. Because were have been in the trenches together. We have weathered the low spots of parenting together, we have asked and answered each other's questions, no matter how ridiculous they seemed. Through our community we wove together the "we are in this together" feeling, We have laughed at mistakes, and we have welcomed new babies, and faced the difficult process of letting others go to Heaven much sooner than anyone hoped or anticipated. These women listened to me complain about pregnancy sickness over and over again, and prayed for me when I went into pre-term labor in Virginia with Noah. They prayed me home.

In some ways, xanga became a home for me. It offered me a safe place to be myself. A place where I knew I would be understood and accepted and loved. Except it wasn't xanga itself, it was the group of women who made up my blog community. In the past two years, most of us have added our third and fourth children and find little time to blog as we used to. Many of us have moved to other blog houses. Some of us started working part or full time. But I dare say all of us still feel connected. Because we were so tightly knit during those precious years when we needed each other the most. I will forever be grateful for my time blogging on xanga.com. For the women I met and the relationships that were made. For the encouragement that was offered. For the hope these women helped me to regain. For the grace they extended me. You, ladies, helped me to find myself again. To be more sure of who I am and what God is calling me to. You helped me to find my wings. And while I have flown now, I will remember you always. Much of who I am today is because of you. And I thank you...from the bottom of my heart...

I never knew when I first hit that submit button on that very first post, what blogging would become for me. The friendships that would be formed and the camaraderie that would be felt. I am certainly not sure of everything, but I can say that I am much more confident than I was when I first began. Confident that I am not alone. Confident that I will never forget the lessons you have each taught me these past 6 years. Confident that God used you to help bring me to this place.

So this is not goodbye. It is goodbye to Xanga, but not goodbye to blogging. Just a new beginning. And we all love beginnings. Its just another story waiting to be written. If you want in on the new blog site, please feel free to message me. Thanks for the ride, xanga gals!!!!!!