Twenty-five Years of Time
Time...we all have our share of it. From the time we are born until the time we die. We are each allotted a certain amount of it. Today, I am reminded of how fast it goes. I am to the point in my life where I can remember ten years ago very well. For example, when you are 22 you can't remember 12 real well...but when you turn 25, well, I can remember being 15 VERY well. These past ten years went by....very fast. When you are young, all of the old people always tell you not to wish your life away and that every year goes faster. Well, somehow I have now joined their ranks and I find myself saying those same things to my younger sister. I guess somehow I just thought that I would have accomplished more by 25. What, I have no idea...and why it would matter, I don't really know that either. I think it is my perfectionistic tendencies or maybe my need for affirmation, but most of the time I don't feel accomplished at all. Yes I have a diploma and a bachelor degree, and a wonderful husband and beautiful son...all things that matter to me, but in the eyes of society and many people, don't amount to much. In fact, a very inconsiderate person had the audacity to recently tell me, a stay-at-home mom, not to finish my masters degree bc I will just get pregnant again and not use it...like I did my bachelors. Maybe this person meant it in a fatherly way in an effort to help us financially, but no matter how he/she meant it, the words still say the same...some people look at stay-at-home moms as lazy, unproductive, unmotivated people and it makes me sick. I don't feel any of those things and I don't consider myself any of those things. In fact, staying at home chasing children requires the opposite of laziness...and to nurture children requires motivation to keep thinking of new ways to help our children learn. Stay at home moms have enough to deal with, I really don't think we need people making us feel badly because we don't contribute three thousand dollars a month to the family budget. I am grateful that Jonathan appreciates and allows me to stay home with Landon. I wouldn't want it any other way. And maybe now it does not feel productive to wipe bottoms and make peanut butter sandwiches all day, but someday when Landon is thirty and I hear him telling his children about how his mommy used to turn the music up really loud and dance crazy with him for hours to Deep and Wide and cut duck shapes out of play-doh and crawl around the house playing trucks and monster, it will feel extremely productive. Landon will have memories of his time with me...our daily routines and our daily outings. I hope he treasures them bc I know that I certainly will.
Speaking of time...my mom brought my grandparents up to see our house yesterday. I made a lovely lunch for them and we had a wonderful time together. When I was young, my parents were divorced and my mom was forced to work, so my grandma was my second mom. I love her so dearly and I treasure her wisdom and the wonderful memories that she has given me. I am so thankful that Landon has gotten to know Gigi (Great-Grandma) and Great-Grandpa. It is yet another gift from the Lord that I don't want to take for granted.
Brennigan, one of my younger sisters, came up with my Grandparents and spent the night last night. Jonathan ended up having to work really late, so we had a great girls-night (plus Landon 
). We shopped, ate comfort food (Cracker Barrel french toast...yumm!), watched a movie, I dyed her hair for her, did the whole green face-mask thing, and talked about teenage drama in her life. It was great. Thanks for coming Brenn...and Landon already has his request in for another round of playing Crucks (trucks) with you!
So...time...twenty-five years...half a century (yikes!)...wonder what the next twenty-five will hold? Well, maybe I am getting away with myself...wonder what today will hold, and tomorrow and next week. Maybe I should stop looking so far into the future...trying to achieve whatever for whoever...and just really treasure today. Because in the end, it is all we really have for now...if and until tomorrow 
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