I forgot 9-13-07

I Forgot...

I forgot how uncertain everything can become when you have an infant. An infant who cannot tell you specifically what is wrong. A child Landon's age can say, My ear hurts" or "my stomach is upset." Noah...well, everything is a guessing game and I absolutely hate taking the kids to the doctor only to be told, "it is a virus, let it take its course."

Noah had what I thought was Landon's cold a week ago. Except it never really developed and I was just about to blog the other day about the wonders of breastfeeding...when, lo and behold, Noah broke out in a rash...all over his body. As the days went by it spread to his face and his bald little head. He looks so funny. When I took him for his 4 month on Tuesday she saw the rash and said it was a virus, and I wasn't surprised...he didn't seem too bothered by it. That night, however, he got a almost 101 fever and since then has just been rather miserable. Waking a ton at night, not taking good naps, not eating really well. I am thinking his ears maybe...but I just don't know. He is really hoarse and somewhat congested. I am so tired...I really don't want another night like last night or the one before.

Today was the first day in over two weeks that I did not have to be anywhere this morning. It was lovely. I got three loads of laundry done, all of the floors swept and mopped, the two bathrooms cleaned, the kitchen counters cleaned and the rugs shook. And lets not forget to add feeding and caring for the kids (although Landon didn't get his teeth brushed until 2) . Now I am just sitting down to do grad school...and there goes Noah again. Oh brother.

Yesterday was Landon's first day of preschool. I went with him and stayed for the morning (it was parent's day...we had to stay). Next week will be the real trial run. I think he liked it, for the most part. He is not too into singing songs and doing hand motions, so he was not fond of circle time, but hopefully he will get used to it. Either that or he will be in the naughty chair a lot. Actually, the whole experience brought a few areas of Landon's life into view that I had not noticed before. I left feeling like somewhat of a failure. Sometimes I am just so happy to have Landon sit at the dinner table and actually eat what I put in front of him that I don't pay attention to the fact that he is sometimes turned around in his chair smearing yogurt on the spindles. I don't know...I just feel kind of low...kind of buried under all that I should have been teaching and should now be teaching, and yet, where we are right now I feel like I fight a million battles a day. I love the kid...but he is not an easy one by any means.

Well, I need to get some schooling done. Noah is back out in his swing...so umm...we shall see how long that lasts. Should I call the doctor? No? Wait till tomorrow? But I am so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!