I ran across a story today ( www.brysonhummel.com ) of a 4 year old boy who lost his leg about a week ago. To read the account of the past week from his parent's perspective brought tears to my eyes over and over. I cannot imagine the agony of walking alongside your 4 year old child in a tragedy such as that. One day everything was right in their world...the next, everything changed forever. Will something like this ever be required of me? Would I have what it takes to walk this journey praising the Lord. I feel so weak right now.
Last Friday I happened to go to the grocery store at naptime. I needed salad for a dinner party we were invited to that evening. A whole host of circumstances led to the culminating event...more details then I could ever arrange. I was about to leave the store when it started to pour...the kind of rain that absolutely drenches you within seconds. I got Noah out of the sling and was trying to cover his head with it while getting Landon in the cart with my bag of groceries. I must have looked distraught bc I felt a tap on my should and a woman offer to keep one of my kids while I ran to get my car. In the chaos of the moment I didn't look at her, but the cashier looked at the woman as if to say, "Lady, you are nuts...she is not gonna trust you with her child!" The woman looked at the cashier and said, "Oh, she trusts me!" So I looked at her...and realized it was the doctor who delivered Landon. She remembered me and my white haired little Landon. I thought that was so remarkable. Landon's birth was so traumatic that my memories of it are very vivid and she has always been a very vital part of those memories. It was amazing to me that out of her many, many patients she still remembered me...and the name of my son. This chance meeting with her gave me an idea. You see, I have really been struggling lately with how to balance my dreams and aspirations outside of the home with my responsibilities and dreams with and for my family. Ultimately, I don't want any regrets and I want my children to always know the place they held in my heart and my life. This doctor is extremely successful and well-known in the area. She also has three children of her own, and about a year after delivering Landon stopped doing OB care to be around more for her family. I respected that greatly and running into her the other day got me thinking that maybe she could cast some light on this issue for me. So I wrote her a letter yesterday and asked if I could treat her to some coffee or lunch sometime and gain some of her wisdom. I know, it is a weird thing to do, but this is a huge issue to me, and I would love to know how she did it and if she has anything she would do differently now. I will keep you posted...hopefully she won't think I am too weird 
Today was Landon's reward day. He filled up his reward chart, so he got to choose from a variety of activities as his reward. He chose going to the aquatic center (a place in town that has an indoor waterpark for kids...small, but great nonetheless) with is best buddy, Max. So we did that and then got good old McDonalds and took it to the park for lunch. It was a beautiful morning and I know he really enjoyed it. He is sad it is over. I remember that feeling...where you look forward to something for so long that when it is actually over you mourn the loss of it. So we are onto filling the chart again. It has really worked quite well!
I am contemplating protecting my site. I have been having random nightmares of bad people after me or my children. Nothing is ever worth something like that happening. I love the freedom of my current blog...I know I have friends and family members that are not xanga subscribers that faithfully read it and I would hate to take that away from them (although if you subscribed [which is free] then you could still read it!). I don't know...just contemplating. I just would like to know that my children are safe, and sometimes I think I view the world as a lot safer than perhaps it really is.
We have had the first big clothing change-over for Noah. This past weekend I took the majority of his 0-3 month clothes downstairs and brought up Landon's old 3-6 months. I can't believe that he is on the brink of being 4 months. Time just continues to fly by. The air has a very sure hint of fall to it, the cicada's are making their fallish sound, the sun is casting long shadows...craziness. Jonathan just got home and since it is such a gorgeous night we are off to the beach. It should be a beautiful evening.
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