Brothers
I wish I had more time to blog. I have so many great memories from when Noah was a baby bc I blogged regularly and those memories now read almost like a book. So I wanted to steal some time today. Just a little, to get something down...
My boys love their baby brother. They are so very different with him, but each love him so intently. Landon takes extreme care for Everett. He almost alerts me with panic to any mishap that could possibly befall Everett. He gets him out of the crib every morning and loves to show him new things. He delights in the new things Everett does. It is extremely fitting that Everett's third word is Landon. When Landon gets home from school, Everett's face lights up. He crawls as fast as he can to his biggest brother as if to say, "What adventure are we going on this afternoon." They have the exact kind of relationship I foretold them having. Landon is Everett's hero. You can already see it.
Then there is Noah. While Landon is hyper vigilant of Everett, Noah is tying him up in the bedroom with an old string out of Jon's sweatshirt. He already gets upset when Everett destroys his lego tower or touches his beloved firetruck. He tells me continuously how much he wants a baby sister, but insists he wants her in addition to Everett, not instead of him. But if another baby is mean to Everett...Noah is there. Immediately. No questions asked...don't mess with my baby brother. Noah loves to teach Everett things...usually it is silly boy things like how to say "bunners" or how to burp louder. But Noah also delights in Everett's every new skill. I was with my friend today who happens to have one boy and one girl. A stranger walked by and commented on her perfect family...I think she said, "you cant get anymore perfect than that...one boy and one girl!" This is an entirely different blog for another day, but I hear this kind of stuff all of the time. For my friend...one boy and one girl IS perfect. But for us, three boys is perfect. For my other friend, two boys and a girl and for another, three girls, and another...adopted children from Ethiopia. Oy...yes...an entirely different post for another day...but people, think before you speak. The woman was being nice, but those comments can sting to those of us who DON'T have the typical American family of 2 kids...1 a male and 1 a female.
Everett is so blessed. He doesnt know it yet, but he has such a gift in his brothers. They all do. They have such a gift in eachother. They are all so different, so unique, so precious. I love how Everett gets excited about things...he raises his eyebrows (which are pure white and basically dont even exist as evidenced by his Mr. Clean bald head) and breathes with his mouth open, super fast and flaps his little arms up and down as if to fly away. He has his own facial expressions that each mean something different. I know my children. I know what they feel just by looking at their faces. There is nothing they could do that would make me not care about them.
I am walking with numerous people through some really rough experiences right now. For as much as I want my skin to be thick, for my boundaries to be firm, it all gets overwhelming. Not that their problems become mine, but that so many people seem to be calling for God to show up, for God to care, for Him to meet them there. For Him to save them from the calamity and dysfunction. And when He doesnt, we get angry. We question if He can and if we decide that if He has the power to intervene and chooses not to, than He just must not care. Tragedy tends to either draw us closer to God or pull us away.
Parenting has been such a tangible illustration for me of God's relationship with me as His child. As parents...we never wish any hardship upon our children. We live every day to protect them from harm and pray constantly for their health and well being. The thing is that there are some things we could protect them from...but it wouldn't be in their best interest to do so. Like if we never let them have friends...they would never be betrayed or hurt, but they would never experience the intense blessings of friendship either. God is our Father. I think it is quite possible that He doesn't save us from some hardships bc to do so would take away the blessing. God is not a vending machine. Every choice and every action has consequences. I dont think it is that He can't save us, or that He doesn't care...as much as that He does care intensely. And because of that...He rejoices with us in our joys and joins us in our sorrow. Maybe we should stop being angry and instead, just persevere. God cares. In one way or another, He will meet us there. I believe that with everything in me. Even in the times I doubt, and in the past couple years there have certainly been times, I can't get away from the Truth. And when I push it all away and just stop and listen...He meets me. Maybe not with an earthquake or a booming voice, but in a very gentle way He just whispers..."I am Here. You are loved." Truth really does set us free.
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