Everett's Ordeal 4-24-11

Everett's Ordeal

I was such a neurotic parent when we were first time parents. There, I said it. SO neurotic. I was afraid of germs and dirt and cleaned my house top to bottom multiple times a week. When we had visitors over, I bleached the toys. I took Landon to the doctor for almost anything and everything. Granted, I was very young and very inexperienced but I feel that my nervousness and neuroticism stole some of my joy. So when Noah came, I was determined to change my ways. I wanted to let some of the perfectionism and worry go, so that I could enjoy my baby more. The busyness of two certainly aided me in my quest, and somewhere between here and there I was mostly able to let go of the overly clean everything. I didn't make Noah wash his hands 4000 times a day and I learned that most sicknesses don't require a doctor visit. Once, Noah even chewed on the honeycomb bottom of Jon's shoes. And the kid has an immune system 1000 times stronger and better than Landon's. So that was the approach we took with Everett. This was our third time around, so we figured we knew most of what we needed to know. We were pretty chill...and we were learning to somehow get it all done. I am lucky to clean my house once a week, er once a month, at the current speed of life. I feel that we had mostly settled into a pattern with the three children. But I have felt a bit guilty here and there that Everett wasn't getting enough of my attention. The two older boys seem to be at a very needy stage...constant discipline and teaching. Or so it seems. But I have found that being chill isn't always a great way to go...this parenting business is no joke! Most of they time, fussy babies are just that...fussy. But occasionally it is something more. And occasionally finally hit us.

Last Friday evening when we went to put Everett to bed, he was uncharacteristically fussy. He kept crying out as though in pain and he couldn't get into a deep sleep. I knew something wasn't quite right but I figured he had a tummy ache or an ear infection. Saturday he remained VERY fussy...uncharacteristically so. Landon had a fever earlier that week so I thought maybe Everett had gotten the sickness and just didn't feel well or that he was achy. Sunday was the same story. Except that most of the day Sunday he had a 100.1 temperature. I noticed that his little man parts were a bit swollen, but that happens to all of my boys when they get a fever...their man parts spread out to get away from the heat of the body. At 4pm Sunday evening my mom changed Everett's diaper. She noticed he was quite swollen and just as she came to tell me that, Noah threw up on her, literally. He threw up everything he had eaten that day. Needless to say, my mom was distracted and forgot to tell me about Everett. We were at my mom's house an hour away, so we quickly packed up everything and loaded the van. Landon was also sick to his stomach, but not throwing up yet. I drove the hour home and Jonathan sat in the back of the van between the two boys with a puke bowl in his hands. As soon as we got home, I quickly unpacked and decided to give Everett a quick bath. I never bathe him at 6pm, but I knew I would be busy with the sick boys the rest of the evening, so I quickly undressed the baby and put him in his tub. I was multitasking and going about business quickly, so I didn't even glance down at his boy parts until I was washing them. So in actuality, my hand touched him before my eyes saw what it looked like. His boy parts were as hard as a rock...so hard, in fact, that I gasped and immediately pulled my hands up out of the water. Then I looked at him. His scrotum was a good 2 to 3 times larger than it should be and the left side was very hard. I knew immediately that this was going to be bad. I knew, intuitively that this was going to require surgery..I just knew. I called Jon in a panic and he took one look and said to get him out of the water and to take him to the doctor. It was a Sunday night. I will spare you the details but I went to two urgent cares and finally ended up at the local community hospital. They were phenomenal and fast. I was alone though and they had trouble getting an IV in Everett's arm. I had to help hold him down and it was absolutely agonizing. Tears were just flowing out of my eyes as I held him down and tried to talk to him and console him. Before I knew it, they had us on an ambulance and headed towards Helen Devos Children's Hospital. The doctor at the community hospital alerted me that I should try to get someone to come be with me at the children's hospital. He didn't know at that point what Everett had, exactly, but he knew it would require surgery and he knew that at least one of Everett's testicles was in danger. There was very limited time to save it.

My sister in law met me at Helen Devos while Jonathan waited for my mom to come sit with the very sick boys. Thankfully, my amazing friend and neighbor, Kaleen, came over before my mom got here (my mom lives a good hour away) and sat with Noah. She even had to catch his puke! Meanwhile, we sat and sat and sat at the hospital. We were transferred by ambulance for a time sensitive surgery, and then sat around for hours. Everett had an IV in his arm, hooked up to nothing. He had not eaten in 6 hours. They said they were giving him pain meds for the ultrasound and never did. And that said ultrasound was awful. The woman's computer froze and after 20 minutes of her standing around while our son screamed as his testicle was dying, Jonathan finally stood up and told the woman he was going to fix her darn computer...and he did. However, she did an awful job on the scan itself so they had to call a radiologist down from the other end of the hospital to do the ultrasound over again. When it was all over, Everett's diaper was goopy, so I asked for a new one. They had a preemie size and a size 6. He is a size 1-2. I opted for the 6 since his scrotum was so swollen. Ten minutes later, he pooped from all of the stress. It went everywhere...the diaper was so huge it held nothing in. Down my pants, my shirt, the floor, the chair, the bed. No one helped us clean it up.We scavenged around the room to find towels to wipe up a bit with. FINALLY they told us he needed surgery (really?!). This was after we had been told it was hydrocele, a hernia and an infection. None of that was true. The surgeon came to meet us, and finally we found out what was really going on. Everett's testicle had twisted and blood supply had been cut off. There is usually a 6 hour window to save the testicle. We had been sitting in the emergency room, at this point, for 6 hours.

A few moments later they FINALLY hooked my baby boy up to some fluids and then we were told to follow a woman up to the surgical floor. She told me to lead and she would follow with the IV. I looked at her sort of odd and said, "Umm...I don't know where I am going." So she walked next to me. She walked us straight into the middle of no where. We ended up in a ghost town part of the hospital...not a soul in sight. She didn't even know where we were. Finally she asked someone who barely spoke english where the PACU was and they directed us. Then we had to decide on the type of anesthesia and they allowed us a quick kiss to our son and took him off. And then we waited. For over an hour. I had a much needed pumping session and paced and kept staring at the computerized schedule that said Everett's patient number and "In surgery." I got all excited inside when it finally switched to "In recovery". The surgeon came to speak to us (he was PHENOMENAL!) and said that the left testicle was dead but he left it in. He tacked the other one down with a few stitches to prevent it from also twisting at some point.

Eventually we were able to see Everett and he looked so tiny and swollen in that big bed. They wheeled us up to a room and I was able to hold him. By this time it was nearly 4 in the morning. He was all hooked up to all kinds of monitors, which beeped incessantly bc everytime I moved him, something got knocked loose. But I never let go of him. I held him for the remaining hours of the night. And as I sat there and rocked him and thought about how unexpected the entire night and episode had been...and how scary and uncertain it was at times, my mind drifted to the kids just a few doors down from Everett's room. Those doors were decorated. Those kids had been here a long time. And I started to cry. Not tears of sadness, but of gratitude. Gratitude that while the ordeal was scary and unexpected...it wasn't life threatening. And that I got to take my baby home. Tears for those kids. Tears for those parents. Because something like this that hits straight out of the blue, reminded me in a REAL way that there is nothing separating them from me. That there are no promises of a life lived without tragedy or sickness...that even the next breath is in the hands of God. So I sat there and rocked my little Everett and wept.

Everett came off the pain meds fairly well the next morning. He certainly had a few episodes of intense pain where he would scream out, but it could have been so much worse. His vitals all stayed just right. He did get a fever but that was expected. They wanted us out pretty quickly, so by 4pm that day we were discharged...fever and all. My sister in law, Amy, picked us up and Everett and I went to her house for a bit. I had to figure out where to go and what to do. Noah was still puking here at home, so we couldn't bring Everett here. I called and canceled my classes for Tuesday and decided to ask my neighbor/almost-like-family friend, Kaleen, if Everett and I could stay with them until Noah was better. They let us stay with them when Everett was a newborn too and Landon was puking (notice a trend here?). In some ways, being there alone with Everett was a gift. I was able to give him 100% of my attention. I didn't have to care for anyone else. He needed that, and so did I. My mother in law came to help with the older boys and Jon took a few days and worked from home. Noah took forever to get well, so Everett and I weren't able to come home until Friday evening of that week. But again, those days I was able to spend with Everett were so precious to me.

I'm not gonna lie. I went through the whole, "I should have known" thing. I mean who looks at their baby's boy parts and feels them when their kid is fussy? I know...no one. But still...I felt some guilt. I just felt spread so thin. The older boys had been especially needy lately, and I felt in some way responsible for what happened to Everett. The doctor assured me that this just happens and there is no way I could have prevented it or known it was occurring. I am working through it all, but I am finding myself a bit more anxious. I certainly have not reverted back to first time parent mode, but as my sister put it, "my safety net was pulled out." So the next time Everett was inexplicably fussy, I was anxious inside. So anxious that I was about to take him to the ER, and then he pooped and was fine. And then I remembered that most of the time, that is all it is...normal baby stuff. 

Ultimately, I was reminded yet again that try as I might to protect my kids, Father God holds them in His hands, just as He does me. I learned that the best thing I can do is to let go of my control, and to pray. Humanly speaking, I want to reign in my control even more. But God is in hot pursuit of me right now. I can't go into detail, but there is clearly something He is trying to teach me. And I want to learn it. 

I take Everett for his post-op visit on Thursday. We will know then how he is doing, but I think he is doing well. He is back to his normal, happy self and from the tiny bit of poking I have ventured to do "down there," I think his remaining boy part is normal size which is a good indicator. He will probably be so mad at me some day for talking so much to the public about his man parts, but I found that you cant say that your infant is going in for emergency surgery and not say what it is on. I tried to be vague at first, but then realized I just had to put it out there bc I think it sounded worse than it was. The reason I said anything on facebook at all was to ask for prayer. And I have to say that I was BLOWN away by the immediate support and encouragement and prayer that flooded in. You were all SUCH an incredible blessing. Thank you feels so trite in light of what you did for my heart. But it is all I have to offer...THANK YOU for surrounding us with love and support, and for praying us through that crazy experience!