A Girl Named Grace
For months I have heard first grade drama out of my son's mouth. So and so likes so and so, and so and so is so and so's girlfriend...and on and on it goes. All along he has maintained that he does NOT like any girls and girls are gross. Then about a month ago I was going through his school papers and on one of them I found written, "I love Grace." He was standing next to me, so I showed it to him and with a teasing tone to my voice asked him, "What is this!" He started back pedalling quickly. "JJ wrote that!" " I didn't write that!" Then he took a pen and scribbled over the writing until you couldn't see it anymore. I knew he did it by how defensive he got, but I let it go. Since then, he has continued to deny any attraction whatsoever to the opposite sex, despite the fact that nearly every other kid in first grade seems to be in "love" with so and so. He thinks those other boys are just crazy for having crushes (and so do I). Fast forward to last night. We had some company over and were playing a game. Landon was being his usual witty self and said something that lead us into a conversation where I asked him what he would name a child if he had one. His reply, "Whatever Grace wanted to name the baby!" As soon as it was out, he covered his face and didn't say another word. Then there were tears. Lots of tears. He left the room covering his face and crying. I went into the bathroom to talk to him about it. He didnt want anyone to know his secret and he was absolutely crushed that he let it out. I dont think Grace even knows. All along he has had a secret crush on this girl, and he has tried SO hard to hide it. Perhaps because of how ridiculous I find all of this boy/girl talk in first grade, or elementary school at all for that matter. But this revelation now explains a lot for me. Why he suddenly cares what his hair looks like before he leaves for school...it is the last thing he does bf leaving the house. Why so many questions about husbands and wives. Why he talks so much about the other boys who have crushes...I think he was inadvertently seeking my opinion on all of this, without letting me in on his secret.
My precious boy has a crush on a girl. It broke my heart to see him so upset that his secret was out, but it just cemented AGAIN for me how fast he is growing up. He will make a wonderful husband some day. He really will. But can't I just keep him in the stage where girls have cooties until he is at least 25? 
If you live around here and ever see my son, please don't ask him about Grace. Seriously, he would be mortified...he was SO upset last night. We will just let him keep it his secret...until he is ready to share with the rest of us...or until it goes away
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