The Big 3-0
For the past year, I have kind of been mentally preparing myself for this big milestone birthday. I assumed it would freak me out a bit. Not becuase of the number. Thirty is the new twenty, right? More just because of the rapid speed with which life seems to be going. I remember getting my Get in Shape girl gear for my 6th birthday like it was yesterday. And my ice skating Barbie and Ken for my 10th birthday. And my joint 16th birthday party at the YMCA with my friend, Alissa. And my 21st birthday when my mom gave me a gorgeous diamond solitare necklace.. I remember my wedding and Landon's birth...but now when I look at those pictures, I see a baby face staring back at me. In some ways I feel stuck in my early to mid 20s. Time is going so fast that I can barely keep up. And I think that is what is freaking me out.
One of my best friends turned 30 a month ago. We spent a morning together a few days before her birthday and she really helped put things into perspective. I asked her if she was at all freaked out about turning 30. She very confidently said she was ready. That she felt more like a 30 year old these days than a 20 something. She is pregnant with her second baby, owns a home, and has a good job. The more I think about that, the more her words seem to fit for me too. I DO feel more like a 30 something than a 20 something. I have three kids. And I am much more confident than I was in my 20s. And I feel more equipped for life. And wiser. And better adjusted to being a wife and friend and mom. I can only imagine how I will feel when I am 40.
My sister, Brennigan posted the following on my facebook wall:
Here are 10 reasons why turning 30 will be SO MUCH BETTER than turning 20! Your year will ROCK, sister! :)
1) 20's: You couldn't drink legally.
30's: You can drink legally and actually know WHAT to get.
2) 20's: You were in the dating game.
1) 20's: You couldn't drink legally.
30's: You can drink legally and actually know WHAT to get.
2) 20's: You were in the dating game.
30's: You are happily married to a man who knows how to be a good husband and father.
3) 20's: You weren't having sex.
30's: You are having sex. Enough said. (Brenn is getting married in August)
4) 20's: You were finishing up your bachelor's degree.
30's: You have your bachelor's degree AND your master's degree-- all under your belt.
5) 20's: You had a job. Calling prospective students and wiping old people's butts.
30's: You have a job as a leader, a teacher, and as a counselor.
3) 20's: You weren't having sex.
30's: You are having sex. Enough said. (Brenn is getting married in August)
4) 20's: You were finishing up your bachelor's degree.
30's: You have your bachelor's degree AND your master's degree-- all under your belt.
5) 20's: You had a job. Calling prospective students and wiping old people's butts.
30's: You have a job as a leader, a teacher, and as a counselor.
6) 20's: You had no idea what to expect as a mom.
30's: You know exactly what to expect as a mom. And you're a great one.
7) 20's: You lived in a dorm.
30's: You live in a gorgeous house.
8) 20's: You had a white car that was barely holding on.
30's: You have a much nicer, larger minivan. HELLO, BIG BABY!
9) 20's: You lived 5 hours away from family.
30's: You have your own family and can visit your family (mainly me :) ) whenever you want.
10) 20's: You were 20. Let's face it. You had a lot to learn.
30's: You are 30. Thirty and THRIVING. You've learned so much, and you are better for it.
30's: You know exactly what to expect as a mom. And you're a great one.
7) 20's: You lived in a dorm.
30's: You live in a gorgeous house.
8) 20's: You had a white car that was barely holding on.
30's: You have a much nicer, larger minivan. HELLO, BIG BABY!
9) 20's: You lived 5 hours away from family.
30's: You have your own family and can visit your family (mainly me :) ) whenever you want.
10) 20's: You were 20. Let's face it. You had a lot to learn.
30's: You are 30. Thirty and THRIVING. You've learned so much, and you are better for it.
I laughed out loud at a lot of her points...but in the end, I decided that she was exactly right. It has been quite a decade. For as much as I changed from 10 to 20, I think I changed even more from 20 to 30. Everything HUGE happened in the past decade. And I can see God's hands all over all of it. I am still amazed by His grace. Humbled by His goodness to us. When I look at this past decade it reads like a story in my head...with pictures that go with every event. I remember having so many questions when I was 20. Many of those have been answered...who am I going to marry? What will I do with my life? Where will I live? What will my children be like? Maybe that is why it is so difficult to kiss the 20's goodbye. In a million different ways, they defined me. Those years tell a story of how I got to this place on this day. Not of my own merit or achievement or even deserving, but by the goodness and grace of our God.
Not every day in the past 10 years has been filled with greatness. There were plenty of tears and questions and trials. But those difficult times were what made the good times that much more enjoyable. So bring it on. I will approach this new decade with confidence and hope and expectation. Now that I am a big girl and all...
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