Summer Memories
The cicadas are sounding their normal end of summer serenade...and the crickets are chirping away day and night. Summer sounds tired, and I can feel fall in the cool morning air and in the earthy scent of a new day. We had a wonderful summer. I suppose it could go down in the record books as one of the best. We didn't intentionally pack it as full as it became. Our summers always seem to overflow, but this one was full of togetherness and memories and things we all wanted to do, not much that we HAD to do. We camped up north with our friends near Michigan Adventure (and went into the park once). The next week we went with my parents and camped at Cedar Point for 5 days. That trip was so great that just remembering it makes me feel all nostalgic and I almost ache to go back. We had such a great time with my parents and it was like revisiting my childhood, only with my own children. Two weeks later we camped up in Northern Michigan and crossed the bridge into the Upper Peninsula. The kids swam in the lake for hours and we visited with Jon's sisters (and families) and parents for the entire weekend. Earlier in the summer we went on the Saugatuck dune rides and I can still remember the kids squeals of delight. We had strawberry shortcake and blueberry pie and peach cobbler. We visited our favorite ice cream spots more times than I can count. We swam at Gigi's (great grandma's) pool so many times that Landon became an official swimmer this summer and Noah isn't far behind. We played in the fountains and visited the outdoor carousel in St. Joe. We had bonfires and smores and had firework nights at least three times. We watched sunsets and jumped in huge waves. We played in the sprinkler and kiddie pool and stomped in puddles when it rained. We had family over and visited family in other parts of the state. We visited great grandparents and fished in their pond. We threw wedding showers and attended Brenn and Adam's wedding. We had a weekend to ourselves while the kids played with Grandma and Papa. And in between all of that, we did life. I feel a major sense of accomplishment in having done it all, and at the same time, I feel humbled that we were able. We were healthy and had freedom and mobility...and Everett is such an amazing baby, he just added to each experience.
Tonight I took the boys to each of their school open houses. Landon met his 2nd grade teacher and discovered that he has a real desk this year (the kind that open!). I have to say that it was very surreal for me to actually accept that he is a 2nd grader. I remember so well being in 2nd grade. It just doesn't seem possible. Then we took Noah to meet his preschool teacher. She is the same one Landon had, and the room is exactly the same too. It feels like yesterday that I was dropping Landon off there. Now it is Noah's turn. Time flies. It just goes so fast. I was reminded of that anew today as both of my boys took a few more steps towards independence. Just to make sure I was getting the point, Everett has also decided to join in the freedom fly. He is days away from crawling (getting up on all 4s, scooting across the room). As I am learning to give my older boys more independence and freedom, I am also feeling the loosening of Everett's hand on mine. It happens so quickly. They come into this world completely dependent on us, and in 6 short months, they can hold their own bottle and move in a direction that they want to go. Baby steps...but its all a process of letting go. And not just physically. Parenting an elementary student has taught me that it is time to let him fly. I am here to help guide him, but I have to let him figure things out. I have spent the past 8 years pouring everything into this child. I have wept and prayed and taught and encouraged and built up and instructed and disciplined and loved. And I will keep right on going with all of that. I still remember on Landon's first day of 3 school when he was playing on the playground and the teacher blew her whistle. I was hiding so that Landon couldnt see me and I was just praying he would line up as he was supposed to. And he did. He got right down from the slide and into the line. I remember my eyes filling up with tears bc I didn't TELL him to make that decision. He made it on his own because he wanted to be obedient. And because of that, it meant so much more. I can't protect him from everything. He has felt the sting of disappointment and rejection. Seen cruelty and heard words I wish his innocent ears hadn't been touched with. I have witnessed him make good decisions...and bad ones. And I have had to instruct him on how to own those bad decisions. Its all a process, just like everything else. And now I am sending Noah out too. Just to preschool, the big transition comes next year, but I recognize this for what it is. Its another finger letting go of mine. My mom and I were talking this summer about how Landon's hand is so big now that it doesn't fit the same in our hands in the rare occasion we can get him to hold a hand. But Noah's still does. It fits perfectly. I told a client of mine today that there are still good men in this world. That I am married to one and am raising three more. She seemed taken aback by that statement. But I have to believe and hope and pray that is exactly what we are doing, by God's grace.
At the end of Brennigan's wedding, when she and my dad were doing the daddy daughter dance, I put my arm around my mama and told her that I am so proud of them. They did an amazing job with the five of us. Yes we were a blended family, but through it all and under it all and over it all and foundationally and in it all...we knew we were loved. Period. And Brenn was their last daughter to marry off. What an amazing feeling it must be to have successfully sent us all off. I am not saying none of us made mistakes or that we lack some sort of dysfunction. But what I am saying that is there is love.
We are a long way off from sending our children off, but we continue to make steps in that direction. And because of that, I am so thankful that we just spent an entire summer making fantastic memories. And when my kids look back on this summer, I hope they remember the details and the things we did, but mostly, I hope they remember the togetherness. The laughter. And the love. I know I will...
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