What You Didn't Know

What you didn't know...

I remember being in the hospital after just having Everett. Our older boys were sick at home with the flu, so they had not yet met Everett. It was the middle of the night and it was just him and me. He had just nursed and he was staring into my eyes as though he were searching my soul with his perfect gaze. So I started to tell him about the life he didn't yet know about. 

I told him that he had two awesome older brothers who were going to give him built in playmates and endless hours of fun and adventure. I told him that we liked to go to the beach and eat ice cream. I told him that Landon would protect him forever, and that Noah would eventually become a great ally, after they get over the hump of middle child and baby rivalry. I told him that the boys would make him laugh, and that they would bring more excitement into his life than he could possibly imagine. And he hadn't even met them yet. I told him of the joy that would be in his journey.

Today as I was getting ready, I heard Everett laughing hysterically in the living room. I quietly peaked around the corner so that he wouldn't see me, so as not to risk interrupting whatever was going on out there. What I saw were my words from that night in the hospital being played out and lived right in front of me. Noah was playing hide and seek with Everett around the couch. He would run around and Everett would chase him and then Noah would jump out and make Everett laugh out loud. Everett's eyes would cautiously look for Noah where he knew he would find him and then he would open mouth laugh and light up when Noah jumped out at him. It was excitement. It was fun. It was adventure. It was life. It was everything I knew he had been blessed with but he was,as yet, unaware was coming. Now he was experiencing it for himself.

I so often fear the future. I fear what I do not know. I wonder what God would say to me if we had a moment like I had with Everett in the hospital. Perhaps he would say, "There is so much joy in the journey, Kristen. You dont know it yet. But trust me for it. Don't take your eyes off of mine. Trust me that just as you knew the blessing your son was given in having two older brothers, I know the blessing I have for you in whatever the future holds. You dont yet know, but I know. And that is enough. Trust me."