Back To Daily Life 5-4-09

Back To Daily Life Well...I promised a normal update and here goes...so much has been going on... We have been trying and trying and trying to get Landon to ride his bike without training wheels. Every kid in our neighborhood can (even the three year old down the road) and it just seems like he should be on that boat. So we took them off before getting the bike out this spring and I refused to put them back on. But my determination was no match for my son's fear. He is so afraid that he is going to fall that he is absolutely horrible at balancing on the bike. He is so into his head that he can't concentrate at all. He is a very cautions child by nature (always has been) but I thought I could push through it. I was wrong. I decided last week that I just needed to put the training wheels back on...even if just for two weeks. So that was the plan....put them on, build his confidence back up and then take them back off in a few weeks. They have been back on for a week...and he is FLYING up and down the road with his friends. He has learned to go one handed and is standing up to pedal up the hill (all major improvements). So it appears to have been a good decision...now I am just crossing my fingers for when we take them back off. Any ideas? Landon told me that at school last week he made some sort of vehicle with his buddy (a kid from the 4th grade class). Landon told his buddy he wanted the vehicle colored red because that is my favorite color and that he wanted the name of the vehicle to be "Mama's Transportation Unit" in honor of me. He was so excited to tell me all of this and as he was doing so he was searching my face to see if he made me feel good. That kid can be so sensitive and loving and kind. And then we can have a day like today when his disrespect seems to be out of control. When I have to ask 5 times to get him to do A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Days like this I feel like a failure of a mother. We have had so many discussions with him recently regarding these issues...and he has lost many privileges. I feel at a loss right now. And I feel defeated. And exhausted. And Noah....well the kid is stuck to my hip. He doesn't want anything to do with anyone outside of myself...even Jonathan. And it has been this way for weeks now. It is very, very tiring. And at the same time, I realize this time is fleeting. Soon he won't want me anymore. Balance is a difficult thing to find....even in this. Training up children is not for the faint of heart...most definitely the most difficult job I have ever encountered (or ever will!!!). But we are so enjoying the spring weather. My back yard is in full bloom...the field is full of white flowering trees and the grass is a gorgeous green. Every morning I breathe in that beautiful spring air and am filled with thankfulness over the newness of each morning. Tomorrow will be new. I told that to Landon as I put him to bed tonight. I think I will go end this day and willingly greet the newness of tomorrow. Goodnight friends.