A Run in with the Wall...and It Won!
I have been meaning to blog for days. I have tried to start one only to be distracted or to decide that what I wanted to share, I couldn't...for whatever reasons. Yesterday was an all out emotional day. One that included long talks, tears, brute honesty with myself and someone I love, and then a big headache. I decided to stop focusing on myself and salvage the day, so I made some cookies for a neighbor. While the cookies were in the oven, Jon came running upstairs with a screaming Noah...blood dripping off Jon's elbow onto the floor...blood...oh the blood. By this time Noah was absolutely screaming. I will save you the details of what we did when and how...but suffice to say that for now we have decided to go with sterry strips over stitches. The poor guy has been through so much. And the wound is only a little longer than a pencil eraser, and it is horizontal (which is better than vertical). We are thinking it will heal together...but the dumb thing is so deep. I feel like I can see his brain...although I can't in reality...but it just doesn't seem like there is that much flesh to go through in a forehead. So last night and today have been fairly traumatic for my little guy. But he has coped so well. He slept through the night with a huge thing of gauze on his head and he woke up as happy as could be this morning. No signs of a concussion or anything...so that is good. It is just amazing how quickly things change and happen and how in an instant life has the potential to change forever. Thankfully that wasn't the case last night, but it could have been. Noah was playing on something he got for Christmas when he decided to jump towards the wall, head first (you had to be there to understand...he had seen Landon do something similar earlier). He hit the corner of the trim surrounding the window. Who would have thought trim could do this? Crazy...
A new and sweet friend of mine commented on my facebook status (that Noah is the type of kid to smile through the pain and go on as if nothing had happened) today. She said, "If we only could be like children and not let the pain run our lives." Oh how profound that statement is. Oh how loaded the consequences. I am a counselor and a child of God. I have all of the tools needed to obtain emotional and relational freedom and health. But I, like many of you (please someone admit I am not alone in this struggle) fail to not let the pain run my life...at least from time to time. Pain is an ebb and a flow...most of the time we can push it to the furthest corner of our minds and refuse to open pandora's box...but then something happens...someone says something or a memory is suddenly exploding through your mind...or an experience is relived or revived...and the pain threatens to overwhelm you. For at least a few moments you are forced to deal with the emotions playing like a bad movie in your mind. Sometimes you can tape the box shut again and push it back into the safe corner of your life. But what are we really accomplishing by doing this? Then again...the pain and the uncertainty and the raw emotion that comes with struggling through our past and our hurts is sometimes too much to deal with...we don't even know where to begin to untangle the knot inside of our heads and our hearts. And secretly we wonder if we can ever escape the grip of our pain anyway...really. Would freedom really exist on the other side? It does. It does exist. But not dealing is so safe and comfortable...and ultimately that safety blinds us and keeps us stuck...where we are. And the pain, without our knowing it...runs us, instead of us running it.
I am not home right now (long story). I will try to post a picture of my joy boy tonight. But at this point it is just Noah with some bandages on his head. You can't see the wound...which for the weak of stomach...is a good thing 
Thanks for being my friends...and sticking with me...and encouraging me and strengthening me. I think you guys are great.
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