Leaving on a Jet Plane...I wish 1-07

Leaving...on a jet plane...

....I wish.

I leave for Virginia on Sunday for a whole week. Because I have to go again in March, I told Jonathan I would drive this time to save money, but there was no way I was driving the 12 hours in March when I would be seven months pregnant  I have to go for a week-long intensive Counseling Skills class. I am kind of excited to be back in a class room, and to be free of my mothering role for a whole week, but at the same time I am extremely anxious. I have never been away from Landon for a whole week before, I hate driving (especially by myself bc I struggle staying awake), I am staying with someone I have not seen since high school, I get sick when my schedule gets messed up (pregnancy sickness), and I have to be to class by 8am every day until 5pm. Now, I am not complaining...bc part of me is really excited to feel like a college student again and to have my freedom (kind of). I am just sharing my anxiety in an effort to get it off my chest. So my next post will probably be from Virginia, or perhaps (if it is too busy while down there), not until I get back which will be Sat. the 14th or something like that.

I went to the post office today to mail a textbook that I sold on half.com. I waited an HOUR in line, seriously, and when I was about five people away from the front I almost passed out. I got that hot feeling, the black sparkly stars, ringing in the ears...I knew I was going down...so I grabbed Landon got to the hallway and sat down as quickly as I could. I felt so stupid. When I was able I made it to a bench outside of the post office where I sat for a good five minutes while Landon kept complaining about being cold. I never did get to mail my package. I hate the post office...and I don't really like being pregnant either. If only my body could handle it a bit better...

Now on to better things...Christmas. We had a wonderful time with both families. Landon loved everything about it and I loved watching Christmas through the eyes of my child. I was very sad when Jonathan went back to work, and, in fact, I am still not used to him being gone. I love it when he is home...I think that was my favorite part of the holidays was just having him around.

Jonathan and I were laying on the couch together last night and he was able to finally feel the baby. I have felt this baby since at least 13 weeks, but every time Jonathan tries, the baby intuitively stops kicking. But not last night, he was having a little punch fest in there and it was really fun to finally be able to have Jonathan enjoy the movement too. This little peanut is getting much stronger!

Three year olds can have crushes. I had no idea. A few nights ago I was home alone with Landon and I was telling him that our friends were coming over the next day. He kept asking if their daughter Madison was coming too. I kept telling him, no, just Josh and Chrystal. Finally, it hit me the way he was asking and I said, "Landon, do you like Madison?" To which he replied while looking down with very shy eyes, "I really like Madison!" It was as though my baby grew up right before my eyes. I was dumbfounded! I then asked him, "Do you think Madison is pretty? Shockingly, Landon started blushing (I kid you not!) and looked down again with VERY shy eyes and said emphatically, "I think Madison is really pretty!" It was such a surreal moment for me. I did not even know three year olds could have crushes...but obviously some things are just innate. We have never talked to him about girl/boy relationships or anything like that...so clearly this is just some inborn thing that God builds into us very young. The conversation ended when I asked Landon if he wanted to kiss Madison (I was curious...I had to know if he knew anything about that stuff!). He then looked down and batted his long eyelashes and very shyly said, "I don't want to talk about that!" I was laughing so hard, and my just-turned-three-year-old was squirming with embarrassment. Who knew?

Sometimes Landon randomly asks to hold my hand. Today, after the almost fainting at the post office incident, I took him to Panera and we got bagels and had a nice lunch together (I thought food might help me...). Anyway, on the way home he piped up from the back seat that he wanted to hold my hand so with one hand on the wheel, I reached back and gave him my other. It hit me as I sat there in that very uncomfortable position that someday in the not-too-distant future, he won't ask to do that anymore. To savor the moment as long as I could I slowed down a bit and just enjoyed the feel of his warm little hand in mine. How could I ever ask for more than I have been given? I am so very blessed...