This Time I Know
This last week has been filled with friends and family! I was not sure if I would have any help once I got home from the hospital since my mom is so completely bogged down with work this week and next, but my friends (and sister) stepped in and filled every gap. Jonathan was here Monday and Tuesday, Brenn came Wednesday, my friend Krista came Thursday with her little girl (and mopped my floors and made me dinner!!!...nobody ever did this for me before and I didn't really know what to do with myself!), and today my cousin Jessica is coming and staying until Saturday or Sunday, and Saturday our friends from Detriot are stopping in for a few hours too. Fun, fun fun!!!! Next week...nothing concrete on the agenda, which sounds kind of nice at this moment 
My poor mom. I know her heart is here with Noah and I feel so badly that she has not been able to come see him. To top off the fact that this week and next are her two busiest of the year, my grandfather had a heartattack on Tuesday morning, and since my mom is their primary caregiver, this has sapped up every ounce of available or not-so-available time. Not to mention the stress she is under from work and everything entailed with my grandpa in the hospital. He is going to be ok, but it is just a matter of time. Please pray for my mom...I don't even know what else to do. I just feel sad for her.
Landon seems to be adjusting slowly. His only real issue so far has been emotional...he cries about everything! He has been a little more argumentative than usual as well, and it is difficult to know how hard we should be on him during this time. It is important to me that he knows that our love for him remains the same despite the changes in our family. I want to give him a little time to adjust, but I don't want to regress with his behavior either. Hopefully as my sleep deprivation begins to lift and my hormones regulate I will have a little more patience with him.
Noah is doing awesome. I took him to the doctor on Wednesday and everything looked great. When we left the hospital he weighed 7.10 and he had gained a whole 6 ounces which made him a nice even 8 pounds. Still not back to birth weight...but I like him tiny...in fact, I am struggling with not wanting him to grow or change at all. I just want him to stay exactly how he is. He is so tiny and floppy and snuggly and EASY and portable and...you get the picture. My milk has come in...started Sunday night and I am still in the serious 
uncomfortable zone. I forget how long this lasts...can someone remind me?! He eats about every three hours and doesn't seem too interested in eating before that and I don't want to pump right now bc I don't want to keep producing this much milk (I feel like I could feed a small village of infants). I had a low milk supply with Landon and I don't want that either. Whatever is happening, it seems to be working like a charm because for the past two nights, Noah has only woken ONE TIME to eat at night. Oh how blessed the sleep has been! I have been waking about 40 minutes before he does bc my milk storage area gets beyond uncomfortable after 5 hours, but I am sure my body will adjust...someday. And who knows...this whole waking only one time a night thing...it probably won't last
uncomfortable zone. I forget how long this lasts...can someone remind me?! He eats about every three hours and doesn't seem too interested in eating before that and I don't want to pump right now bc I don't want to keep producing this much milk (I feel like I could feed a small village of infants). I had a low milk supply with Landon and I don't want that either. Whatever is happening, it seems to be working like a charm because for the past two nights, Noah has only woken ONE TIME to eat at night. Oh how blessed the sleep has been! I have been waking about 40 minutes before he does bc my milk storage area gets beyond uncomfortable after 5 hours, but I am sure my body will adjust...someday. And who knows...this whole waking only one time a night thing...it probably won't last
Speaking of...here are a few things I have learned thus far:
This time I know....
- That eventually he will crawl, walk and talk and I have no need to push him to the next milestone. Rather, I am enjoying these moments of nothing but wide eyes and a beautiful little rooting mouth.
- That he will be tiny for such a short amount of time. I am holding him closer, rocking him more, staring at his little face and trying to memorize the details that seem to change with each passing day.
- That if he cries for ten minutes while I bathe him, he will be ok. In fact, it will probably make him sleep better.
- That if he screams while I change his diaper at 3 am, Landon will sleep through it and so will Jonathan. And if they don't...oh well. Life will go on
- That even when you are sleep deprived, feeding your tiny baby in the wee hours of morning is somehow enduring and heartwarming. It is just he and you. Being awake for an hour or so seems to pass like a few minutes.
- That I can lay him next to me in the bed for a few minutes and it won't make him co-dependent. He loves to snuggle close to my body and I cherish the snuggle time. We never did this with Landon...and while I don't want him sleeping in our bed with us, a few moments here and there are priceless. It amazes me that at a few days old if I put him six inches from my body, he will figure out a way to scooch his little body all of the way over to mine until he is scrunched right in. He loves his mommy
- That he won't always be this portable and easy. Take advantage of it...we need to do a LOT this summer because once he hits a few months old, he won't be as easy.
- That someday this tiny little baby boy will be talking and running and the memories of this time will be all that I have. I feel like I cannot cherish this time enough...I cannot make it last long enough...
- That someday we long to have more children, but there are never any guarantees. Hence why we need to make the very most of every single second we have with our boys.
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