So Much To do So little Time 12-06

So much to do, so little time

I have been a bit Xanga-MIA lately. My grad school semester ends on Sunday, so this week I have a paper due by midnight tonight, an assignment tomorrow (which I have not even read for) and a final exam on Sunday. Being under this stress is reminding me how good it used to feel in college when you would finish all of your exams and experience complete freedom from stress. I cannot wait to experience that feeling once again.

In college I was a STRESS CASE. Seriously, I thought I had to get A's or the world would end, so I would push myself to the extreme and make life miserable for everyone around me (ie, my roommate, my boyfriend (now my husband). In fact, when Jon and I were discussing whether or not I should pursue graduate education one of his concerns was the toll that my school stress would bring to the family. I assured him that I have matured beyond that and I would do my best to never allow it to be a negative factor in our family. I have kept that word pretty well, minus a few occasions (namely during my statistics and research class), but this week is stretching me. Of all the weeks, I have no one who can help me so I do not have a whole day or even a good block of time to devote to studying/writing/etc. Sometimes I feel that old stress ball forming in my stomach and I am on the verge of allowing it to spill out all over Landon or Jonathan, but then I remember that in the end...it all ALWAYS gets done. I have so much to be thankful...so far this week, no huge personal crises, no sickness, etc. At this very moment I have no idea how I will find the time to adequately study for Sunday's exam, but ultimately I am convinced that it will somehow happen and while I might not get an A on the exam, a B will be just fine. Ultimately, no one really cares about grades anyway...seriously. I am in grad school (who do actually care), and I am pretty sure my employers will not ask me if I ever got a B in a class. Maybe I am writing all of this to convince myself, who knows.

As I speak, Landon is halfway in my laundry machine getting the clothes out and putting them into the dryer. What more could I ask for???? I went to my mom's yesterday to get my haircut (thanks for all of your input...I cut it...kind of halfway between the length it was and my typical short...I really like it, straightened anyway, we shall see about curly). Anyway, my mom offered to keep Landon overnight so I could work on grad school all day today. Landon was ecstatic until he realized I would not be staying. He loves my mom...she is his third favorite person in the world (me and daddy taking spots 1 and 2). But for whatever reason, he was unnaturally attached to me last night and refused to stay without me. I was disappointed bc I really needed this time, but at the same time it felt great to know that I bring him security and he loves me like no body else, and actually wants to be with me (even though sometimes I am not the nicest mommy in the world). So here we are...I am xangaing and he is emptying my washer and Bob the Builder is on television. No grad school as of yet...but soon, very soon. I think I am going to break out the play-do and let him play that while I finish my paper that is due in twelve short hours. 

My ultrasound is looming very near...I need votes on what everyone thinks this child is. I love to tally everyone's opinions and see who was right and who was wrong. So let the voting begin...