Landoni Bolognie 11-6-07

Landoni Bologna

I don't eat bologna...and I have no idea how to spell it...so don't be too terribly perturbed by the way I am sure I just massacred that word 

So today Landon was doing his usual routine of waking up Noah (we have school on Wednesday mornings so Noah has to be woke up) and he asks me, "Mom, when I am a daddy will I get to give kids their punishment?" Ohbrother...he is an authoritarian already! I told him he would have his own children and he insisted that he wanted to punish Noah...not his own kids. I told him it is very possible Noah will punish him (if Noah keeps up on his growth rate he will outweigh Landon in just a few months  ).

Yesterday as I was in the shower and Landon was playing in my bathroom he told me this: "Mom, when you get out of the shower don't shut your drawers because there are toilet paper rolls behind them." I asked why there were toilet paper rolls behind them and he said, "Because I am playing garbage truck and I will move them when I am done playing, so that you think I am helpful." There was something so mature about his explanation...that it made me step back and realize yet again how much he is growing up. I realize that it probably seems insignificant to a reader, but when you watch a child go from helpless infant to "trying to be helpful" sometimes you are in awe at the change that takes place.

Landon is ecstatic about snow. Every morning he gets up and runs to the window to see if it snowed. The other day the weather man said it would snow and Landon heard that...but then of course it never happened and he was outraged that the weather man was wrong.  He wants snow so badly!

I am struggling. Every single day I feel like I am rushing from the moment I get up until the moment I go to bed. Rushing, rushing, rushing. I think it may be the work involved with this  particular grad class and the fact that the kids keep getting sick...but I just feel like I cannot keep up. It is getting to the point that I feel like my friendships are suffering. I feel like a piece of plastic wrap pulled too tightly and I am getting so thin that I may just snap soon and rip into pieces. I don't know what to do. I can't drop out of grad school (and I don't really want to), I have to take care of my family, I deeply love my friends and cherish my relationships. I need balance and more time in my days. People are what matters and I hate that some of my friends may feel like I don't have time for them. I thought I was handling this, but I don't think I am.

So..Landon is on an antibiotic for a sinus infection. I took Noah in on Monday and he had a horrible ear infection. I didn't even know!!! I mean, I knew he was sick and feverish and miserable...but he wasn't cranky. So he is on an antibiotic and doing MUCH better. Then yesterday I got my 6th staph infection...so now I too am on antibiotics. I never had a staph infection before I had Noah. I don't get it...but I am starting to really fear catching this MRSA infection...you know...the deadly staph infection going around. If I am within 20 feet of it I will most certainly get it.

The world feels heavy right now. Bethelanie posted about that darling baby girl and her family...and my heart cannot even get around the depth of pain that family must be enduring right now. I cannot even fathom. Nixie shared about their recent loss...and my heart is hurting for them too.  Living in a fallen world stinks. Heaven will be such a wonderful place...no pain, no grieving..no loss. Praise God for that hope!