My little Landon ~
Five years ago you entered into my life. How that much time has passed is a mystery to me, and yet I can barely remember our lives without you in it. The night you entered this world was a war in and of itself…a fight between you and my body. Your determination and strong will were evident even then…but in the end you were forced into the bright light that is this world and my eyes met yours for the very first time. In that moment, there was a beautiful stillness in that hospital room and even the nurses had tears in their eyes. You were so beautiful, son…fair and blonde and angelic. You clung to me for security and in that moment my heart was no longer my own as you came to embody a love that I never knew existed.
Your dad and I were so young and so inexperienced when you entered into our world. We tried our best with you, read every book, talked over every little decision. We wanted to do everything right, give you the best shot that we could. We wanted to protect you, as much as we could from the hurts of this world. But soon we came to realize that it is the bumps and scrapes along the way that often teach the most valuable lessons.So we stopped trying to raise you in a bubble and instead began to focus on how to help you get back up and try again.
As you learned to walk and talk, your personality blossomed and before we knew it you were running around the house smelling like peanut butter and jelly. You often wouldn't’t sleep, you often wouldn't eat and you often got mad at us for not understanding what you wanted. Still we pressed on, trying to train you up in a way that honored the Lord and that would inevitably grow you into a strong and good man. Those early years were difficult in that we often felt alone and unsure of what we were doing, but we made it, and before we knew it you were becoming a big brother; a role to which you not only adapted beautifully to, but embraced with your entire heart and soul. 
You are such a good big brother to Noah. You teach him and care for him and love him in a way that only brothers can truly understand and in a way that makes my heart swell with admiration for you. The lessons that daddy and I have been engraining in your since the day you were born are finally starting to show themselves in your spirit. Your care and concern for others gives me hope that one day you will understand the joy to be had by putting the needs of others before yourself. The obedient and honorable choices you make each day give me the courage to believe that you will one day be a strong and decisive leader who is wise beyond his years. Your questions and desire to understand the things of God give me great hope that very soon your heart will belong fully to the Lord and that you will love Him and serve Him for your entire life. More than anything else in this world, Landon, I want you to understand and experience the depth and height of God’s grace and love. There is no other acceptance or love that can ever compare to that of our Father’s.
Landon we have all learned together on this journey. You have taught me so much about myself and in so many ways, you have made the world new for me again. I see things in a new light and I experience life in a new and vibrant way, because of you. You keep me on my toes, but when you aren’t here in this house, it feels empty and I miss you. I miss your now toothless smile and silly expressions. I miss your laughter that fills the walls of this home with joy. You probably don’t notice, but often while I am working around the house, I am listening in on you while you play. Your imagination is awe-inspiring and I find such comfort and joy in the sounds of my boys happily playing. You and Noah fill this house with life and joy and together as a family we make these four walls home.
So for five years now you have been ours. I feel in many ways that you have grown me up and at the same time, we had the honor or raising you up. I am so proud of you Landon and I am filled with eager anticipation of what God is going to do with your life.
It is now 10:51 on October 27th. Exactly five years ago at this same time my water broke and I began the journey towards meeting you. Five short years…and yet, a lifetime ago. From beautiful, helpless infant to curious toddler to tender hearted boy, I have watched you grow. The transformation has been quiet and if one were not watching closely, it may have seemed to go by slowly and without incident. But to me, I have treasured each and every moment with you. Landon, every memory…every song…every dance…every word…they are all stored in my heart, chronicled for all of time. In an instant I can remember your eyes and your lips and size of your hands when they laid you on my belly the morning of the 28th. I can hear your little voice as you learned to talk. I can feel the room spinning around me as we danced to the B-I-B-L-E song. I remember every single moment…
I thank God for the blessing that is you. You were an unexpected miracle in our lives, but one that has blasted open our world and helped to make all things new. You were what I never knew I needed, and in every way I thank God for the privilege and honor of celebrating five years of your life. Happy Fifth Birthday, Landon Bear.
Love Always,
~Mama
No comments:
Post a Comment