Throughout an entire pregnancy you dream and await the arrival of a literal piece of you. At the end of an often hellish labor, you are greeted by a screaming, gorgeous baby who is literally reaching out for you...clutching to feel what it has known for nine long months. From the very first moment, YOU bring that baby comfort, security, love, and safety. Your days revolve around meeting that babies needs, and after a few weeks, you get your first reward...the first sign that all of your work truly means something to this little bundle...a smile. And that one smile is enough to keep you going for a lifetime. But its gets even better.
The babies personality begins to shine. You learn what makes him smile, laugh, clap and what crazy antic makes his entire face light up like a football field on Friday night. You keep on working to meet his needs, but so often you are rewarded with the hint of recognition in his eyes and the light in his smile that inaudibly say, "I know you mom, and I love you."
For whatever reason, that baby that you have poured so much into for so long, often says Dada first. It is precious and you love it, but you eagerly anticipate the first time that MaMa will spill from his lips. The first time he calls you by name, and audibly expresses his need and desire and love for you..all wrapped up in 4 simple letters.
It happened to me the other night. Noah has been saying DaDa for close to two months, but no hint of MaMa. two nights ago Jonathan was getting him ready for bed and I was in Landon's room putting clothes away. Noah was fussing, and then it happened...clear as day...almost as though a 2 year old said it..."MAMA!!!" He called my name with such purpose and distinction. Jonathan immediately said, "Did you hear that...he called you!" Yes....yes of course I heard it. I would have heard it had I been in another state...the kid wanted me...he said my name. I went in and picked him up and his little smile was full of glee. He knew what he did. My heart melted into a puddle. Noah called me by name...not just saying the syllables, but purposely called for me. He wanted his mama.
I can't remember the first time Landon called my name...but I can remember the first time he said he loved me. I blogged about it...so it had to be around age 2 and a half. I was tucking him in and just as I left the room, he said it. Again, I can't explain it, but audibly hearing your child put their love and appreciation and need for you into words is like the fruition of every ounce of work you ever put into them culminating in one moment. The world almost seems to stop...they know you love them, and now...you know, you HEARD...they love you too!
So yes, its Valentine's Day...how fitting! We made homemade valentines for Daddy and I got a heart shaped ice cream cake from the dairy queen (I had a $3 coupon, so it was basically free). Tonight we will enjoy our cake and valentines and have a fun time as a family. Wonderful and endearing...
Five years ago tonight, Jonathan surprised me (it was our first married Valentine's day together) and took me to a hotel for the night. We did not have the money for it...but he did it anyway. God knew that we were to go that night...for if we had not, there is no way Landon would be here today. I am in awe that was five years ago. It feels like 2 or 3...no more than that. Five is huge. I can't believe that Landon is going on five...and that five years ago set in motion the rest of our lives. That unexpected happening truly changed the very course of our lives...it changed everything. And yet here we are...and I am so, so thankful.
Happy Valentine's Day friends!
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