Nostalgia 10-17-7

Nostalgia

  I just spent a few hours watching all of our home videos so that I could label each one accordingly. A few observations: Landon was not-so-cute from 4 to 10 months. Then he became adorable with lots of curls and a scrunchy little nose. I looked SO much younger until somewhere between 2005 and 2006. Something that year apparently aged me considerably. Jonathan looked a lot younger too. My house used to be clean all of the time. Until Landon started walking and dragging toys everywhere...and especially before I had both boys. I know it will only get worse, but I don't mind so much anymore.

I have recently come to realize that life when we had Landon was totally different. We had no idea what we were in for. Landon was so unexpected and I think that in itself made the transition so much more difficult than the one we just went through with Noah. We lost our freedom and were totally overwhelmed with responsibility that we were totally unprepared for. Our marriage changed (our young marriage), our life changed, we as individuals changed....all of it happened so quickly. This time around with Noah we knew what we were in for. We lost nothing (becuase we are used to the parenting role and were anticipating another child) and gained everything. I was so young and so not ready to enter the mommy club. Now I am in it and I am content and happy with who I am. It has been a long journey. I wish I had known you all three years ago. I think you could have helped me a ton.

I feel so much more well-adjusted with Noah then I did with Landon. I second guessed everything with him and went through some sort of identity crisis. It wasn't him persay, it was just that I was not ready for the transition to parenthood. I thought I was...I had wanted it my entire life. But now I can clearly see that I wasn't ready. Perhaps that is why I have tried so hard to cherish Noah. I have a very unique bond with each of my boys...I feel like we have been through SO much with Landon. I am proud that we have made it through and I feel like the effort that Jonathan and I have put in has bonded us in a unique way with him. Similarly, the fact that we tried for Noah and anticipated him has allowed us to enjoy him to the greatest degree. All of this to say that looking back on those videos today was a wonderful experience and I love my family...and each of the moments we have shared together.

In other news:

Landon has given in and conceded to be something cute for Halloween (a rooster to be exact) one more year as long as I promised him he could be something scary next year. Good grief. I had better take a lot of pictures this year because I don't get into super hero costumes or monsters. I like horses and dogs and chickens and cute things.

I had to go to a store today and I knew Landon was ready to come straight home and would really fight me on it. So I got the ingenious idea to start crying (pretend) about not wanting to go to this store. Landon played right into my hands and very nicely said, "Mom, I have an idea. How about we just go into this store super fast and then it will be done. Will you be happy then?" Ah Ha...his idea ='s happy kid. That is precicely what we did.

I got my syllabus for my class that starts Monday. Overwhelming as usual...and it looks like even more work than the previous class. The books look interesting though. The class starts Monday...I have so greatly enjoyed this week of no burdens...no readings or papers that I have to do. It has been wonderful.

Jonathan just got home and I have not started dinner...so I had better get to it. I am thinking of doing a garbage truck theme party for Landon. Some of you gave me some good ideas on an earlier post...if anyone has anymore I need them  Thanks friends!